Tag: Philippians

One Year Later-Letting Go

It’s through a much different lens that I see Peyton now.  Just a year ago, her dad and I hugged her goodbye as she started her brief inpatient stay on the adolescent psychiatric ward for a suicide attempt.  She had failed in an overdose, and she needed help that we couldn’t give her.

It’s been a long road of therapy appointments, medication management, and the battle of wills as our family settled into a different kind of normal that now presented itself.  After she came home, my days typically ended with me wondering if I’d hovered too much or didn’t hover enough.  I questioned whether I gave her too much freedom that day or not as much as she needed.  Did I hug her the right number of times?  Did she remember that I loved her?  Did she still have thoughts of suicide?

Every day was an endless list of questions in my head.  And to be honest, it was probably an endless list of questions in Peyton’s head, too.  But she was using new skills to tell us when she was struggling and utilizing coping techniques when she became anxious. 

She was working hard to fix herself on her own and has made several adult choices along the way to include moving out and making her own decisions without the confines of parental rules and regulations.  She’s not going wild, so don’t fret about that!  

How does that look for a mom and a Christian? 

As a mom at first, it meant DEVASTATION!  I want to protect her at all cost.  I saw her in the most vulnerable position last year trying to choose death over life.  I want to guarantee the people she’s friends with are good and strong, loving and dependable.  I want to know she’s eating more than McDonald’s every day and that she’s taking her medication and attending her therapy.     

As a Christian mom, it meant DEVASTATION!  I want her to be in church.  I want her to turn her heart back to God and allow Him to help heal her.  I want her in her Bible and trusting that God hasn’t left her alone.  I want her to remember the joy of the Lord she had before!

But what about as a CHRISTIAN?  Let’s take away the emotion behind being this sweet girl’s mother.  The Lord tells me in Psalm 127:3a, “Behold children are a gift of the Lord.”  She is a gift to me, but the Lord gave her to me as a gift, so He sees and knows her worth.  She is not lost on Him.  He values her as the gift that she is.

Philippians 1:6 says, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work among you will complete it by the day of Jesus Christ.”  He’s not done with her.  Just because Peyton chooses to try and “fix” herself doesn’t mean that He’s given up on her.  He’s not dumping her on the wayside because she believes she can do it on her own.  He began a good work in her and I’m am assured that it will be completed. 

When I take away the emotion and fear as a mother, I’m left with trusting a Savior to be there when I can’t.  I’m left with trusting a Holy Spirit to nudge her heart.  I’m left with trusting a Father to never leave her or forsake her.

And that’s tough.  Any mother, friend, aunt, grandparent, etc who’s been in this situation knows that God has given us a desire to protect our friends and loved ones in something like this.  But He’s also given us the tools to understand that it’s HIS job to take the burden, not ours.

So here I am….letting go.  I’m trusting God will do the job that I’m inadequate for.  She’s His child.  He loves her even more than I do. 

~Erin

God Has the Night Shift

I’ve never been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder  (OCD), but I know I’ve got some quirky tendencies.  For instance, I always turn the opening of a coffee cup lid to align with the seam of the cup.  I must look at the copyright date of every book before I can read anything within the book.  I also always turn my pillows so that the pillowcase openings face the outside of the bed.

Quirky traits.  Not necessarily OCD, but quirky, nonetheless.

Years ago, I watched a documentary on OCD and watched a woman who had to repeatedly check her locks every time she was home alone.  She checked dozens of times and the most unique part of her obsession was that she checked the locks in a pattern. 

I have had moments where I double-check that I locked the door.  Heck, there’s even been times I’ve triple-checked the locks.  Mostly out of fear because I’m home alone.  I watch too many crime-related tv shows for my own good.

Do you know what keeps you up at night worrying?  For me, it’s making sure that I’m safe and sound with locked doors.  For others, it might be finances, relationships, health issues, work, or countless other things that could be making your mind work on overdrive.

We’re told in Philippians 4:6 “Do not worry about anything…”

And yet, we worry.  Why do we do that?  God has promised to supply our every need (Philippians 4:19) so why do we continuously worry? 

Worrying creates several problems.  First, worry increases our stress.  Scripture tells us that we can overcome stress rather than becoming a victim of it.  Matthew 6:34 tells us “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”  A few verses before that in Matthew 6:27, we read, “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to your life?”

These two passages show us how stress impacts us physically and emotionally. 

Worrying creates another problem for us.  It makes a scenario where we could begin to doubt God’s promises.  Our own stress and worry often leads us to want to “fix” problems ourselves rather than rely on the promises of God that He will always care for us.

It’s a very human reaction to worry.  Yet, we should train ourselves to not worry…as much.  We need to give these worries to God.  It’s something I have to continuously remind myself of…I have to give my worries to the Lord.  And then let Him keep them. 

Trust Him.  Lock your doors and then go to bed.  Trust that the Lord will take the night shift.

~Emily

The Anticipation

I finally got to see my friend again!

Three and a half years ago, I wrote a blog about my new friend, Mr. Parker.  For those who are new, let me link that blog here.  It was a chance meeting.  I was given an earlier seat on a connecting flight in February 2019, and a friendship blossomed in just 40 minutes from Birmingham to Atlanta!  Mr. Parker calls it divine intervention.  I agree!

We’ve been hoping the last several years to figure out a way to see each other in person again.  I was looking forward to meeting his wife and spending time together.  But between Covid and us living across the country from each other, it wasn’t possible.  I cherished every phone call we had talking about so many things, our families, the state of the country, the people we knew.  But we both wanted to be able to sit with each other again and see each other’s faces.  We both looked forward to the day that would happen. 

Two weeks ago, we got our wish, and I took Emily with me just a short drive down the road to have dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Parker! When I walked into the restaurant and saw them standing there and got to hug both of them, the joy I felt from anticipating this long-awaited meeting was overwhelming. 

I have the same anticipation for another meeting—the meeting of my Heavenly Father.  I think to Paul writing to the Philippians.  He was imprisoned at the time and looking to encourage the church in Philippi.  He wrote to them about the gospel being preached and how he was trusting God even during the time he was in prison.  And then he says this of his situation:

“For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.  But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose.  But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better;” –Philippians 1:21-23

He longed to be with Jesus.  He anticipated his time in heaven, worshipping the God of salvation.  While he loved his family and friends and he loved the ministry, he recognized that to be in heaven bowing at the feet of the Father far surpassed any wonderful thing he could experience on the earth.

I want to be the same way, and as we study the book of Revelation, I’m reminded even more about the joy that will come from seeing the face of Jesus.  I want to thank God for creating me.  I want show reverence to Him for His sovereignty.  I long to worship with the heavenly host singing praises about the glory of the King of Kings.

As much as I want to be here enjoying my time on this earth, I long even more to see the face of Jesus.

I pray that as we celebrate during this holiday season, we anticipate not only the celebration of His birth but the face-to-face meeting we will one day have!

~Erin

The Lucky Charms

One of my fondest memories belongs to a Christmas many years ago when my daughters were around 6 and 12 years of age.  I was a recently divorced single mom, and we didn’t have a lot.  I had to learn to be ok with where we were at and with what we had.  While my children never went without what they needed, often it was more difficult to obtain higher price ticket items for the Christmases and their birthdays.    

I was fortunate enough to have been taught myself at a young age that the thought into the gift meant more than the gift, so I was prepared for just such a time.  My girls LOVE sweet cereal; they come by it honestly.  While Cheerios was a fine breakfast food, it didn’t compare to the goodies like Trix or Fruity Pebbles!  And they were always going at each other over who got the last of the cereal out of the box.  Many a tear was shed (particularly from the younger, Peyton) over the fact that McKenna got to it first!

This particular Christmas as the girls each unwrapped identical boxes at the same time, they were over the moon excited that they received their own individual family size box of Lucky Charms!  And let me tell you, lest they forget who had which box, they wrote their names on them so there was no doubt!

Is our response to what our circumstances are one of contentment or dissatisfaction?  I know culture today tells out that we don’t have enough.  We’re always looking for the better job, better car, more Instagram followers, or better pay.  We are a society that is me-centered, always trying to get more.  But what does God tell us about that in the Bible? 

Philippians 4:11-13 says, “Not that I speak from need, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am.  I know how to get along with little, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”

We should know how to live in both circumstances and should also know how to be content in both.  The Bible also reminds us that God supplies our needs.  The fact that He graciously supplies what we need should cause us to reflect on how content we are with where God has us!

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t go after a pay raise or a new job/title.  But we should examine our hearts and speak to the Holy Spirit to ensure that we are content with what we have and determine if we’re seeking something for ourselves or if it is God-led.

I pray that this week we all take a moment to recognize our contentment in our circumstances through Jesus and ask Him to fill our hearts with that peace.

~Erin

Your Biblical Arsenal

From the time my children were little, they were taught gun safety.  They are aware of the ways in which to handle and carry a gun.  They know how to load and shoot guns, as well.  It was important as their parent for Chris to teach them how to use and take care of guns responsibly.

While I don’t believe in a “zombie apocalypse,” it HAS been the running joke for years that we need to have protection, know how to defend ourselves in the event of an attack and what an arsenal would look like in a situation like that. 

This makes me think of our own personal Biblical arsenal.  The Bible is the sword of the Spirit.  It is the part of the Armor of God that allows protection against the devil’s schemes and attacks against us.  It is to be used at all times!  A biblical arsenal can be a book of scripture or your actual Bible that you have with you.  Maybe you have a notebook that you’ve written some verses down in or a Bible study book that you keep handy.

Many verses in the Bible speak to knowing scripture and having scripture handy as a necessity.

“This book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it; for then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will achieve success.” –Joshua 1:8

“I have treasured Your word in my heart, so that I may not sin against you.” –Psalm 119:11

“The Law of his God is in his heart; his steps do not slip.” –Psalm 37:31

“Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God.” –Colossians 3:16

I know that I write a LOT about knowing scripture.  I do this twofold. 

The first, because I know how important it is to have a Biblical arsenal handy in times of struggle, attacks, and trials.  I can’t stress enough how calming it feels when a verse that you’ve memorized or read dozens of times pops into your head courtesy of the Holy Spirit during a time of need.  It’s comforting.  It feels like confidence.  It feels as if you’re not alone.  It also opens up the opportunity to take a moment to pray and thank God for the arsenal He’s given.

The second, because I need the reminder even now.  And I know I’m not the only one that needs this reminder.  It’s work to look up and learn verses.  But it’s work that isn’t regretted. 

When you are struggling to find joy in your day and the Holy Spirit lays on your heart Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!” it allows for a moment to reflect and give praise to our Father.  It allows a change of direction in our attitude.  When we feel the attack of the devil, perhaps one of the verses you’ve got in your arsenal is “Go away, Satan!  For it is written: ‘You shall worship the Lord your God, and serve Him only,’” Matthew 4:10, the words of Jesus to Satan.

If you’re not great at memorizing, I’d like to suggest something that has worked for me for years.  I’ve carried with me 3×5 spiral-bound notecards.  I found it in Walmart and started writing verses in it that were important to me.  There are verses about salvation and verses about God’s love.  There are verses like the previous ones mentioned.  There’s verses in it about prayer.  They are simply my own hand-written biblical arsenal that I can carry to help me through at a moment’s notice.

I encourage you to put together your own arsenal!  Let us know in the comments below what your biblical arsenal looks like!

~Erin

Fear Factor

This last Sunday at church, our pastor said something that has really stuck with me throughout the week.  He said, “The problem with fear is not that it exists.  It’s that we allow it to grip us and prevent us from doing what God has created us to do.”

I’m sure we’ve been at a point in our lives when we’re faced with a decision.  Perhaps we feel the prompting of the Holy Spirit to step out in faith and start a ministry or lead a group.  It could be the decision to donate time and energy to a homeless shelter or make food for shut-ins.  Do our neighbors know the saving grace of Jesus Christ?  Should I join the church?  In any of those circumstances, we should be seeking God and looking to Him for guidance.

Yet often, we try to figure out what our next move is on our own.  We make a list of pros and cons.  We ask friends and family members.  We run to the internet for advice.  We’re afraid of making the wrong choice so we become paralyzed and then make no decision.  I’m guilty of this myself.  I’m great at making a to-do list for the Holy Spirit so He knows how it needs to end up.  Then I promptly ignore my own list that was useless anyway!

When the pastor made that comment this weekend, it made me wonder how often I do this very thing.  Fear is not bad.  But when I allow it to hinder me from living out God’s will for my life, it’s a sin. 

We’re told in Philippians 4:6-7, “Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and pleading with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.  And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your heart and minds in Christ Jesus.”

Am I saying that we shouldn’t be seeking counsel about big decisions?  Absolutely not.  But our first move shouldn’t be to the people or things around us.  It should be to our Heavenly Father who wants the best for us.  We should seek God who directs our path for what we should do.  He has given us the Holy Spirit to help us live this life.

And how do we hear the Holy Spirit?  I’m so glad you asked!  We need to be in our bibles!  We need to be praying!  We need to be studying His word and seeking Godly counsel.  All those things allow us a richer and closer connection to God.  That, in turn, allows us to be more attune to the calling of our Creator!

I pray as we continue through the year that we lay down the fear that prevents us from doing what He has created us to do.  Instead, let’s live out our calling with our eyes focused solely on God and trust His perfect direction!

~Erin

The Christmas Gift

We celebrated Christmas with my oldest daughter and her family this last weekend.  It’s exciting to go down and have a “second” Christmas with the grandbabies, watching their excitement as they see gifts they weren’t expecting as Christmas had long since been over.

I dutifully wrapped the gifts for each of them and handed them out, one by one.  Andros, that sweet little boy, opened his first gift.  He looked at me and said, “A shirt?  I have shirts!” Everyone started giggling, but the best part of the evening was when he went to open his second gift.  To an adult, the second gift was obviously too small to be an item of clothing.  As he slowly unwrapped it, he looked at me and said, “It’s not a shirt, right?!”

We got such a giggle out of that!  He’s only four, and while his momma is teaching him about being grateful and gracious about what’s given to him, sometimes he just doesn’t quite understand and acts like the little boy he is!

Do you ever think that we are like my grandson with God?  He provides for us.  In fact the Bible tells us in Philippians 4:19, “And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

It doesn’t mean the needs that we’ve asked for.  It doesn’t even mean He meets the needs that we want!  God knows our needs and supplies them.  However, just like little Andros, we get something and we look at it and say, “Hmmmm…that’s not what I asked for!”   When He provides for us again, we pray and say, “It’s not that one thing is it, God?”

I don’t think we do this on purpose, either!  I think in sin, we assume that we know what’s best for us.  We know what will make us happy or content or pleased.  We think that this thing or that thing will be what we need to make everything better.  In reality, God already know our needs, and He will give them to us when it’s the right time.  Often times, even though it’s hard to admit, the things that He gives us we don’t even realize we need until we look back on that moment in our life and say, “Yes!  I see where you were, God, and how You provided for me!”

I encourage you, friends, let’s take the time to ask God to supply our needs, and then step back and take all that He gives us with open hearts and gracious spirits.  You never know if the one thing you don’t think you want is exactly the one thing you’ll need!

~Erin

P.S. His second gift was a book for us to read together!

My sweet grandson with his ever-present chocolate milk mustache!

This Past Year

I’m a few days away from being 43.  That just sounds old.  I mean, I know it’s not.  But if I think back a looooong time ago to the sweet age of 10, I thought 43 was practically retirement-village,-using-a-walker,-putting-away-my-dentures-every-night-old. 

As I do every year, I like to think back over the previous 365 days and reflect on it.  What did I do that was exciting?  What is something I wish I had done?  Did I waste time on ‘stuff’?  Am I happy with the actions I took?  A lot of people might do this at the end of the year.  I find I love to do it at my birthday, because it makes me feel like I’m not trying to do some cheesy resolution and instead really contemplating what I’ve done.

This year, I feel like I spent much more time truly meditating on God’s Word.  I was thoughtful in my Bible reading, not just looking for verses that applied to me.  Rather, I was looking meaningfully at the passages for the context, how it applied, and where I saw God in each verse.  The more I dug in, the more I found my own ‘self’ was changing!  I realized that the things that never bothered me before are now striking a chord with me, and not one that plays a sweet note. 

TV and movies don’t have the same appeal when I see the worldly actions and images across the screen.  Secular (and even some contemporary Christian) music doesn’t ring true lately when it promotes unhealthy and inappropriate relationships or a diluted message of who God is and what He does.  Foul language is becoming more and more difficult to tolerate.

To the average person, they might see this as a legalistic point of view, these things that I’ve discovered about myself from this past year.  However, I believe that it’s less about being legalistic and more about recognizing that I want my relationship with God to be pure and untainted from the ways of the world.  I don’t want my walk to be conforming but rather transformative.  I want to be different because our Father commands us to be different and not of this world.

Here are just a few verses I’ve leaned on this year without even realizing that I was doing it!

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things. –Philippians 4:8

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect. –Romans 12:2

Beloved, I urge you as foreigners and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts, which wage war against the soul. –1 Peter 2:11

As I look back I realize that, while there may be things I wish I had done, I love that I have recognized the Holy Spirit prodding me to a life that’s more pleasing to God.  I’m not perfect at it.  I never will be.  But any small thing that pushes me to a closer relationship to my Heavenly Father, is a small thing I’ll do as often as I can!

Dear friends, join me in meditating on those verses this week.  Think about ways we can think on things that are honorable, true and right and remind ourselves that, as Christians, we are only visitors on this earth for a short time compared to eternity with Him!

~Erin

To Serve or to be Seen

As a person who’s grown up in church, I’ve grown accustomed to seeing people serve in some capacity.  You volunteer for the nursery.  You donate time as an usher.  Maybe you’re part of the prayer team or the clean-up crew.  There are so many ways to give time in service to your local church and community.  The opportunities are endless.

There are many verses in the bible that speak to serving.

“Be hospitable to one another without complaint.  As each one has received a special gift, employ it in serving one another as good stewards of the multifaceted grace of God.” –1 Peter 4:9-10

“Whoever brings blessing will be enriched, and one who waters himself will be watered.” –Proverbs 19:17

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.” –Ephesians 2:10

We are told to serve without complaint, to please God, and to bring Him glory.  My question to each of us serving is this:

Are we doing it to serve or to be seen?

Today’s society says ‘Look at me!  Look at what I’m doing to help!’ Everything that we see on social media screams out how good we are, how kind we are, how much help we gave when we service others.  But is that the kind of service God desires of us?

Please know that I’m not excluding myself from this question.  I find myself often having to stop and question my motives.  Am I doing this particular thing because God commands me to love, to help, and to assist, or am I doing it because it feels good to get the ‘attaboy and kudos for stepping up to the plate and serving someone or some way?

I also have to think about the way that I’m serving.  Am I skipping out on the potentially thankless job of janitorial work at the church or the tiring job of rocking a crying baby in the nursery, instead opting for the fun and noticed roles?  Am I choosing to snap an Instagram photo of me paying for a homeless man’s coffee instead of leaving an anonymous gift card for groceries for the family who’s mother just lost her job?

I’m not saying that those acts of service are not good.  Nor am I saying that they’re wrong.  What I’m asking us to examine is whether our motives are to really serve God or to be seen for our works.

I pray that my motives are never for the need to be seen.  God tells us in Philippians 2:3-4, “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.”

I pray that as we serve, dear friends, it’s to serve God and not ourselves. 

~Erin

Humble Honey

As I was bragging about never messing up in the kitchen, I dropped a one-pound glass jar of honey, which promptly exploded and then oozed on the counter and floor.  An “eat your words” type of moment and a ginormous mess, to say the least.  It was a humbling moment considering I had just been boastful about not dropping items.

According to dictonary.com, humbling is a verb which means “to bring down the pride of another or to reduce her to a state of abasement: to humble an arrogant enemy.”  While I don’t classify myself as an arrogant enemy, I certainly had my pride reduced in that moment of oozing honey and glass shards.

For the rest of the day, I was humming a childhood song based on James 4:10. “Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord (echo) Humble thyself in the sight of the Lord (echo) And He shall lift you up. Higher and higher and He. Shall lift you up.”

The song, on constant repeat throughout the day, drove the question; “Why should we humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord?”

First and foremost, we should humble ourselves before God because we are instructed to imitate Christ, who was in fact, humble.  As seen in Philippians 2:5, we see that Christ did not state equality with God was an attainable goal, but rather Christ humbled himself to become human for our benefit.

Perhaps another reason why we should humble ourselves is found in James 4:10 and in the song itself.  As we humble ourselves, God promises to exalt us.  When we are humble in the sight of God, we receive His blessings and grace in a unique manner.  He will lift us up.

 The song, still on repeat, drove the next question; “How do we humble ourselves in the sight of the Lord?”

Speak well of others…on purpose (Ephesians 4:31-32).  When we speak negatively about others, we are putting them down and often making ourselves out to be better.  When we speak positively about others, we build them up and edify them.  Throughout my life, I have caught myself being less than humble in this regard.

Always Pray (1 Thessalonians 5:17).  When we pray, we are acting in a manner of dependence and humility. Prayer becomes a declaration of weakness.  In the moment of prayer, we admit to God that we can’t make it without Him and that we need Him in requests and in praise.  There are plenty of times that prayer is an afterthought in my life when in reality it should be my 1st thought.

Confess your areas of sin to God (Luke 18:9-14).  All of us are sinful, but few of us routinely and honestly tell God about that sinful nature. Every day, it’s easy to ask God to “forgive my sins” as a blanketed statement.  For me, it’s much harder to specifically assess areas of my life that are steeped in sin and then admit them to God.

Confess your areas of sin to other Christians (James 3:2). A test of true humility is when we are willing to confess our sins to others, just as we would confess it to God.  Obviously, discretion is needed about who you confess sin to, but the act of telling someone about our sin allows us space to be completely honest with ourselves and ultimately with God.  I struggle with this one because I don’t want others to know where I am weak or where I am failing.  Thus, pride interfering with humility in my life.

As I hummed the song “Humble thyself in the Sight of the Lord,” I was reminded of why I should want to be humble and how I can practice being humble at the feet of God.

A broken honey jar is just one tangible reminder of how much work I have to do in this area…

To those on the Iron Porch this week, I pray you seek humility in your daily interactions this week!

~Emily

honey