Jack Daniels “Medicine”

Through the years I noticed that Renee, my mother-in-law, would occasionally take a small nip of Jack Daniels.  She called it her medicine and would do it so infrequently that you wouldn’t even be able to call it a habit.  In 2017, she came to visit us in Alabama from Pennsylvania for Christmas and “Santa” gave her a couple small bottle samplers of Jack Daniels in her stocking.

However, there weren’t any shot glasses in the house for her to have her sip.  I teased her that she could just take her “medicine” with a tablespoon, since that’s about all she would drink.  I also told her that someday, I was going to write a blog about her nipping Jack.  She giggled and told me to write the blog…she went on to say, “if Iron Porch is for women to know other Christian women are real, then we should know about our favorite little nips & sips.”  

At that point we had a lengthy discussion about Christian women and drinking.  I had been “called out” by a church member for posting a photo of my wine glass on social media, so I was a tad gun-shy about allowing others to see the social-drinking side of my life.  

She reminded me that of all masks women wear, there isn’t a single one that hides us from Christ.

Jesus literally knows everything about us…our thoughts…our fears…our dreams…our disappointments…our excitement.  And He even knows when we want to have a little nip of Jack Daniels.  

I admired that she was comfortable with others knowing that she enjoyed a small sip every once in a while.  Her example and gentle reminder allowed me to assess the portions of my life that may be inadvertently or consciously hidden from others.  She told me to take the masks off. 

On a whim this last weekend, I opened a tiny-useless drawer to the left of my stovetop, which has never been used.  Inside, I found a wrapped-up package of “shot glasses” with a post-it note on top.  It was a message from my mother-in-law from Christmas 2017, about her next trip to Alabama.  

Just a few months after she wrote that note, she was diagnosed with cancer.  And just a couple weeks ago, we laid her to rest knowing that she was in heaven singing to Jesus.  She never made it back to Alabama for another visit to use her nipping glasses. 

While she no longer needs her Jack Daniels “medicine” or the Alabama shot glasses, she left me with a reminder to be true to myself…and not wear the masks for others.

~Emily

Mental Health: When You Need More Than Prayers

I have been in a crazy-spiral for the last two weeks. I’ve been feeling anxious, depressed, and disengaged.  I want to sleep or eat all the time.  I don’t want to converse with people.  Or the opposite…I want to fight & argue with people (**insert public apology to my husband and son).

In a casual conversation I was having with someone last week (**please, refer to the last paragraph where I admitted I didn’t want to talk to people), she told me that my “funk” just needed to be turned over to God. I needed to pray about it, give it to God, and move on with life knowing that He would take care of all those worries.

Ummmm, hello ‘Linda,’ I know that.  (**for the record, her name isn’t Linda, but I often use that name as a substitute when trying to protect the innocent).

I know I should pray about it and turn it over to God.  The truth of the matter is that there are other things that I need to do for my mental health too.  I need to take long deep breaths. I need to exercise and eat right. I need a long bubble bath.  I need to journal.  I need to speak to a therapist or counselor. I need a little white pill. All of that, in addition to praying and taking it to our Father.

This woman was trying to be helpful.  She was trying to remind me to take the issues to God. The reality is that this woman’s words were hurtful. She made me feel like I hadn’t already discussed this with God…and if I had, then I wasn’t doing it right if it wasn’t resolved.

Within Christian circles, there is often a stigma associated with mental health assistance. I needed help these last two weeks. Yet, some Christians around me were thinking that I just need to pray.  I did pray.  But for these last two weeks that wasn’t enough.

I believe whole-heartedly in the power of prayer for healing and changing lives.  I also believe in seeking help holistically or through modern medicine. I think there is value in combining these approaches and I think that each person will find what combo works best for them.

If someone breaks their leg, we pray for their healing.  However, we’d be appalled if we heard that they were at their home setting the break themselves with just an herbal tea for pain management.  We have an expectation that for physical health, we’d combine prayer, modern medicine, and potentially holistic medicine.

Why don’t we extend that grace to mental health, as well?

As Christians, we are doing a disservice to those with mental health illness when we have a judgmental attitude or if we are superficially saying that prayer alone will fix these issues.  Prayer alone may work for someone.  However, if they need more tangible help of medication or therapy sessions, then we should support and encourage those steps too.

I promise it’s okay to do the combo.   I also promise you aren’t alone.  There are plenty of us rocking on the porch trying to figure out our combinations.

~Emily

Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.”

~1 Thessalonians 5:18 (NIV)

Let's fight the Darkness together copy