There was a point in my life where I talked myself out of guilt time and time again to soothe myself into believing what I was doing was ok. My marriage of five years was on the rocks. My husband was always working. I stayed at home with the kids and we lived 40 minutes from town. I was allowed to go have a little fun with my girlfriend once in a while, right?! It was no big deal, and the lady I was hanging out with went to church so it was completely “fine.”
Except that it wasn’t. The occasional Girls Night Out on a weekend turned into every week. One drink turned into drunk at the bar. I wasn’t getting the attention I felt I deserved at home, so what was the harm in smiling at another guy…or talking to one. As long as I wasn’t being inappropriate, what was the problem? Did you notice that I not only tried to soothe my guilt but I also redefined what was considered inappropriate?! Oh what a web we weave.
Sin permeates everything.
My first mistake was stepping back from church. Satan set the trap. Then I stepped back from daily time with the Lord. Satan began to manipulate. Instead of being discerning in my friendships, I looked for someone that commiserated rather than edified. From then on, I was hooked. Sin took over it all. Within a year, I wasn’t even talking to God, I was filing for divorce, I had stopped engaging with any of my faithful Christian friends, and I was always looking for the fun party of the weekend. Sin had taken over my life. It seeped into my marriage and my friendships. It melted into my relationship with Jesus. Even at a moment when I thought I MIGHT be able to salvage my marriage, sin had impregnated so much of my life, I let Satan have the hold on me and continued with the divorce.
Sin. Permeates. Everything.
When the Pharisees spoke to Jesus in John 8, they couldn’t understand what He meant about being free when they had not been slaves since the time of Moses. Jesus responded to them in John 8:34, “…Truly, truly I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin.”
Sin makes you a slave. It made me a slave to the world. It made me a slave to the culture. It made me a slave to Satan. But God…
Thank you to the one true God who has infinite grace and mercy on a sinner like me! When I repented of that sin and turned from it, I was released from it. God didn’t see the jerk that I had been. Now, He saw the remorseful Christian woman who surrendered it at His feet.
Maybe you’re recognizing just now that sin permeates it all. Perhaps you think you’ve gone too far to have God forgive. I’m here to tell you that that it’s not possible. He seeks you even today. No sin is too great. No thought is too much. No distance is too far. He is right there waiting to forgive and welcome you back into the fold. Sin doesn’t have to continue to seep into everything. The Lord can take it over and turn into a beautiful work for His glory.