All The Cursey Words

If there had been a swear jar in the room, I would’ve owed it a $10.  Maybe $20.  In a moment of anger, frustration, and worry, I said enough expletives to make a sailor cringe.  During a conversation with my daughter, I became angry and worried about a story she told me that involved her.  I was not cursing at her, but I definitely said some things about the situation and the other people involved.

Ironically enough, the week’s Bible study for Table 8 was on the taming of the tongue—not really what I wanted to think about in that moment.  In James 3:5-12, there is plenty of scripture that reminds us that the tongue, while such a little part of the body, carries a great weight.  What come from our heart flows out through the tongue. 

It’s so true.  In the moment, I felt anger, fury, irritation.  The words that came out were exactly those feelings.  At a time where I could’ve been an example to my daughter about being slow to anger or watching my words, I did exactly the opposite.  I simply showed her words with shock-value and no substance.  What exactly does an “F-bomb” bring to the table? You’re right…nothing.

Our words should bring glory to God.  They should show people who our Father is.  They should be edifying and spirit-lifting, without malice.  Yet, often we speak what we want without thought to who around us can hear, whether it be little ears or the Holy Spirit Himself.   

“Let no unwholesome word come out of your mouth, but if there is any good word for edification according to the need of the moment, say that, so that it will give grace to those who hear.” –Ephesians 4:29

How do we do that?  How do we strive to purify our speech?  We can’t do it on our own, friends.  We have to ask God to tame our tongue.  We need to ask Him to help control your tongue.  And then, Iron Porch, you lean in.  Lean into the God who saves and trust the Holy Spirit will continue to do a good work in you.  And fight….put on the armor of God that you might be prepared for your heart to stay strong and not allow vile speech to flow from it.

Praise God for forgiveness! I know that with my repentant heart, God has forgiven me for the sin of my speech in that situation.  Now, I must remember to guard my heart so that it may not tempt my tongue.

~Erin

@#!*% Swear Words

I use swear words while driving.

It feels slightly cathartic writing that…like it’s a true confession.

I actually use swear words more than just while I’m driving.  My parents had a philosophy that words were just words…you just needed to know when it was socially acceptable to use particular words.  They taught my brother and I to expand our vocabulary and to become selective in which words we chose to use.  Words matter.  And the meaning behind each word matters.  It’s not enough to say “kind” when you really mean “considerate” or “gracious.”  My parents taught me that the meaning behind each word is important and that the use of a particular word should be deliberate.  They taught us that there was a need for cuss words, but that we should be selective when we used them.  It’s a thought that I’ve carried my whole life.

And until this last week, I didn’t think much of it.  You see, this last week my 7 year old gave me a vocabulary lesson.

I was driving and he was in the back seat. For whatever reason, I chose to use a particular word…and it’s one I chose specifically for it’s meaning.  My son said, “Mama, you shouldn’t use that word…it’s a bad word.”

So I seized the opportunity. I thought to myself, “I have this wonderful teaching moment…I have a chance to be as amazing as my own parents!”

I replied to my son, “Buddy, there aren’t any bad words…there are just words that we associate with having bad meanings.  When I use that word, does it hurt you?”

Very cautiously, very slowly, very guardedly, my little guy replied, “No….but I’m pretty sure it hurts God.”

Gut Punch to the Mama. Seriously, kid?!?!?!  I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me.  What in the Sam-Hill am I supposed to say to that?!?!?! (See, I’m still struggling with swear word replacements!).

“You know what Buddy, you’re right.  That probably does hurt God.  I’ll do my best to stop saying those words.”

I have never subscribed to the thought that the Bible specifically bans the use of curse words. However, there are plenty of scriptures that discourage the use of profanity.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” ~Ephesians 4:29 (NIV)

 “Avoid godless chatter, because those who indulge in it will become more and more ungodly.” ~2 Timothy 2:16 (NIV)

 What I have always subscribed to is the thought that our mouths either build up or tear down. This is true for the Christian and for the non-Christian.  Essentially, the words we choose can help or harm others.

This makes perfect sense when you consider how words impact your own day.  As an example, imagine yourself stopping before work to get a coffee. Someone in line tells you that they love your hair.  For nearly everyone, a compliment like that would automatically make you smile.  It lifts you up.  Yet if someone in the same line says something snarky or tells you to watch where you are going, you are automatically put on the defensive. You may react negatively or you may internalize the words. Either way, you aren’t smiling. You aren’t lifted up.

When considering building or tearing, I want to be a Godly woman who builds others up.  Even in a moment of frustration, my use of curse words does not build anyone up.  In fact, it caused my child to pause enough that he felt compelled to correct my behavior.

While I don’t believe that using profanity is the worst thing a human can do, I can agree that it is not glorifying to God.  As a result of my parents encouraging an ever-growing vocabulary, I have a stockpile of other words I could choose to use when frustrated or angry.   In order to become a “builder” of others, I want to glorify God with my word choices.

Like I told my little guy, I’m going to do my best to stop choosing those words.

~Emily

 “My tongue will speak of your righteousness and of your praises all day long.”  ~Psalm 35:28 (NIV)