Danger at the Gas Pump

Growing up in Oregon, I never had to pump my own gas.  It’s illegal to pump your own gas in my home State.  An attendant comes out and does it for you.  Once I joined the military and moved to another State, I had to learn…and learn quickly if I wanted to keep driving. 

As I made the transition from having someone pump my gas to doing it myself, I developed a ridiculous fear that someday I would drive away from the pump with the hose still connected to my car.  I’ve seen videos where distracted drivers have done very thing I fear.  Yet, when I started being afraid of this, there wasn’t YouTube and social media to ‘fuel’ the fear. 

It’s an irrational fear.  It’s just one example.  Some of our irrational fears could involve health concerns, weather disasters, financial ruin, child raising, and tons more.  The reality is this…when we entertain an irrational fear, we are distracted from the goodness of God. 

I’ve often gone to scripture to overcome some of my irrational fears, such as driving away with the gas hose still attached to my gas tank.  How we feel and act is a product of our active thinking.  When we think godly thoughts, godly behavior follows.  In Proverbs 23:7 (NASB) we see, “As a person thinks within himself, so he is.”  We can replace the lies we believe with the truth of God.  This is a renewal of our minds as seen in Romans 12:1-2 and Ephesians 4:23.

Through the renewal of our minds and alignment with the Word of God, we can put our beliefs into action.  No matter what I believe about an irrational fear or phobia, I must also know that God promises good results.  1 Corinthians 10:13 (ESV) states, “No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.”

Each time I pump gas, I have the temptation to fall into fear about destroying the pump and my car.  When I turn that fear over to the Lord, I’ve found the escape provided by God.  He is allowing me an opportunity to focus more solely on him, rather than my fear.

Each one of us has a fear, like the danger of the gas pump.  How we address the fear is where potential growth in our Christian walk can occur.

I’m praying this week that each of us faces our fear with the knowledge that the Lord is providing an “escape.”

~Emily

Doers of the Word

I noticed late last night that I had a large bug bite on my cheek.  I didn’t realize it was really there until my loving husband looked over at me and said, “What’s up with the big zit?”!  He’s such a gentle soul.

I went into the bathroom and stared at if for several minutes.  I poked it a little, looking up close and then backing away as if a different perspective could make it disappear.  But what I was trying to do was figure out if it was a bug bite or indeed a “big zit” resting on my cheek so that I knew what I needed to do for treatment.

Believe it or not, staring in the mirror made me think about a passage in James I was reading last week! We were talking about being doers of the word.

“But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.  For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror, for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he is.  But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.” –James 1:22-25

As hearers of the word, we deceive ourselves.  We don’t take the time to see what the word really tells us or how it can shape and teach us.  For hearers, the mirror is only a reflection of what we’re doing in the moment, forgetting what it means as soon as we look away.

When we are doers of the word, we look in the mirror deliberately, using it as correction.  We look with intention and recognize that daily sanctification is necessary to bring us closer to God.  We focus on following the word so that corrective action (the doing) can be taken in our lives where it needs to be taken.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be much more than a hearer.  I want to soak in the word, understanding the application of it within my life.  My goal is to be a doer, to find the areas that are in need of correction so that I continue to daily die to self and be sanctified.  I want to effectually take the message and tell others the gospel and love of Jesus.

I pray this week that we recognize ourselves as doers of the word!

~Erin

One Year of Grief

Last week would have been my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary.  They had just celebrated 49 when my Dad died one month later.  They missed 50 by a mere 11 months. 

My Mom has been quite stoic during this first year of grieving her husband.  In the last eleven months, she’s made it through her birthday, his birthday, their children’s birthdays, the 4th of July, Thanksgiving, and Christmas by herself.  She’s made it through the 1st Sunday sitting alone at church, the first neighborhood BBQ, and the first house repair without him.  For the first time in her life, she figured out how to change the bulb in the fridge and how to set a mouse trap. 

She’s been quiet about her grief. 

Until the wedding anniversary date.  She was very vocal about not wanting to be home by herself to “mope around” all day crying and missing him.  She made plans to meet the ladies from her church for lunch and shopping to fill the day with outings.

And then a sickness went through the church that left her without plans for the anniversary date.

She watched their favorite movies.  She poured through their wedding album.  She made his favorite dessert…then ate it all!  She got flowers from her kids.  And she spent time in the Word.  Later she said that it was the best day of memories…and that God had a much better plan for her day than she had scheduled.  Psalm 34:18 says that The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. 

Loss is part of our human experience, but that does not make it any easier to deal with.  Death takes its toll on those left behind and occasionally it feels as though the grieving process is never-ending.  Yet, scripture offers us comfort, guidance, and hope. 

Comfort:

“Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.”  Matthew 5:4

Guidance:

“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28

Hope:

“Jesus said to her, “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die.  Do you believe this?” John 11:25-26

My Mom isn’t the only one walking through grief.  I recognize that thousands of people deal with the grieving process daily.  Last week was the first time that I recognized how much scripture and the Word of God can change the tide of a day.  My Mom, who had been anticipating a sad day of mourning, instead had a joyful day of memories.  God offers comfort, guidance, and hope. 

God is good.

~Emily

One Year Later-Letting Go

It’s through a much different lens that I see Peyton now.  Just a year ago, her dad and I hugged her goodbye as she started her brief inpatient stay on the adolescent psychiatric ward for a suicide attempt.  She had failed in an overdose, and she needed help that we couldn’t give her.

It’s been a long road of therapy appointments, medication management, and the battle of wills as our family settled into a different kind of normal that now presented itself.  After she came home, my days typically ended with me wondering if I’d hovered too much or didn’t hover enough.  I questioned whether I gave her too much freedom that day or not as much as she needed.  Did I hug her the right number of times?  Did she remember that I loved her?  Did she still have thoughts of suicide?

Every day was an endless list of questions in my head.  And to be honest, it was probably an endless list of questions in Peyton’s head, too.  But she was using new skills to tell us when she was struggling and utilizing coping techniques when she became anxious. 

She was working hard to fix herself on her own and has made several adult choices along the way to include moving out and making her own decisions without the confines of parental rules and regulations.  She’s not going wild, so don’t fret about that!  

How does that look for a mom and a Christian? 

As a mom at first, it meant DEVASTATION!  I want to protect her at all cost.  I saw her in the most vulnerable position last year trying to choose death over life.  I want to guarantee the people she’s friends with are good and strong, loving and dependable.  I want to know she’s eating more than McDonald’s every day and that she’s taking her medication and attending her therapy.     

As a Christian mom, it meant DEVASTATION!  I want her to be in church.  I want her to turn her heart back to God and allow Him to help heal her.  I want her in her Bible and trusting that God hasn’t left her alone.  I want her to remember the joy of the Lord she had before!

But what about as a CHRISTIAN?  Let’s take away the emotion behind being this sweet girl’s mother.  The Lord tells me in Psalm 127:3a, “Behold children are a gift of the Lord.”  She is a gift to me, but the Lord gave her to me as a gift, so He sees and knows her worth.  She is not lost on Him.  He values her as the gift that she is.

Philippians 1:6 says, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work among you will complete it by the day of Jesus Christ.”  He’s not done with her.  Just because Peyton chooses to try and “fix” herself doesn’t mean that He’s given up on her.  He’s not dumping her on the wayside because she believes she can do it on her own.  He began a good work in her and I’m am assured that it will be completed. 

When I take away the emotion and fear as a mother, I’m left with trusting a Savior to be there when I can’t.  I’m left with trusting a Holy Spirit to nudge her heart.  I’m left with trusting a Father to never leave her or forsake her.

And that’s tough.  Any mother, friend, aunt, grandparent, etc who’s been in this situation knows that God has given us a desire to protect our friends and loved ones in something like this.  But He’s also given us the tools to understand that it’s HIS job to take the burden, not ours.

So here I am….letting go.  I’m trusting God will do the job that I’m inadequate for.  She’s His child.  He loves her even more than I do. 

~Erin

God Has the Night Shift

I’ve never been diagnosed with obsessive-compulsive disorder  (OCD), but I know I’ve got some quirky tendencies.  For instance, I always turn the opening of a coffee cup lid to align with the seam of the cup.  I must look at the copyright date of every book before I can read anything within the book.  I also always turn my pillows so that the pillowcase openings face the outside of the bed.

Quirky traits.  Not necessarily OCD, but quirky, nonetheless.

Years ago, I watched a documentary on OCD and watched a woman who had to repeatedly check her locks every time she was home alone.  She checked dozens of times and the most unique part of her obsession was that she checked the locks in a pattern. 

I have had moments where I double-check that I locked the door.  Heck, there’s even been times I’ve triple-checked the locks.  Mostly out of fear because I’m home alone.  I watch too many crime-related tv shows for my own good.

Do you know what keeps you up at night worrying?  For me, it’s making sure that I’m safe and sound with locked doors.  For others, it might be finances, relationships, health issues, work, or countless other things that could be making your mind work on overdrive.

We’re told in Philippians 4:6 “Do not worry about anything…”

And yet, we worry.  Why do we do that?  God has promised to supply our every need (Philippians 4:19) so why do we continuously worry? 

Worrying creates several problems.  First, worry increases our stress.  Scripture tells us that we can overcome stress rather than becoming a victim of it.  Matthew 6:34 tells us “Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”  A few verses before that in Matthew 6:27, we read, “And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to your life?”

These two passages show us how stress impacts us physically and emotionally. 

Worrying creates another problem for us.  It makes a scenario where we could begin to doubt God’s promises.  Our own stress and worry often leads us to want to “fix” problems ourselves rather than rely on the promises of God that He will always care for us.

It’s a very human reaction to worry.  Yet, we should train ourselves to not worry…as much.  We need to give these worries to God.  It’s something I have to continuously remind myself of…I have to give my worries to the Lord.  And then let Him keep them. 

Trust Him.  Lock your doors and then go to bed.  Trust that the Lord will take the night shift.

~Emily

Sin Permeates Everything

There was a point in my life where I talked myself out of guilt time and time again to soothe myself into believing what I was doing was ok.  My marriage of five years was on the rocks.  My husband was always working.  I stayed at home with the kids and we lived 40 minutes from town.  I was allowed to go have a little fun with my girlfriend once in a while, right?!  It was no big deal, and the lady I was hanging out with went to church so it was completely “fine.”

Except that it wasn’t.  The occasional Girls Night Out on a weekend turned into every week.  One drink turned into drunk at the bar.  I wasn’t getting the attention I felt I deserved at home, so what was the harm in smiling at another guy…or talking to one.  As long as I wasn’t being inappropriate, what was the problem?  Did you notice that I not only tried to soothe my guilt but I also redefined what was considered inappropriate?!  Oh what a web we weave.

Sin permeates everything.

My first mistake was stepping back from church.  Satan set the trap.  Then I stepped back from daily time with the Lord.  Satan began to manipulate.  Instead of being discerning in my friendships, I looked for someone that commiserated rather than edified.  From then on, I was hooked.  Sin took over it all.  Within a year, I wasn’t even talking to God, I was filing for divorce, I had stopped engaging with any of my faithful Christian friends, and I was always looking for the fun party of the weekend.  Sin had taken over my life.  It seeped into my marriage and my friendships.  It melted into my relationship with Jesus.  Even at a moment when I thought I MIGHT be able to salvage my marriage, sin had impregnated so much of my life, I let Satan have the hold on me and continued with the divorce.

Sin.  Permeates.  Everything.

When the Pharisees spoke to Jesus in John 8, they couldn’t understand what He meant about being free when they had not been slaves since the time of Moses.  Jesus responded to them in John 8:34, “…Truly, truly I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin.” 

Sin makes you a slave.  It made me a slave to the world.  It made me a slave to the culture.  It made me a slave to Satan.  But God…

Thank you to the one true God who has infinite grace and mercy on a sinner like me!  When I repented of that sin and turned from it, I was released from it.  God didn’t see the jerk that I had been.  Now, He saw the remorseful Christian woman who surrendered it at His feet.

Maybe you’re recognizing just now that sin permeates it all.  Perhaps you think you’ve gone too far to have God forgive.  I’m here to tell you that that it’s not possible.  He seeks you even today.  No sin is too great.  No thought is too much.  No distance is too far.  He is right there waiting to forgive and welcome you back into the fold.  Sin doesn’t have to continue to seep into everything.  The Lord can take it over and turn into a beautiful work for His glory.

~Erin

Sunday Afternoon Naps

I’m in the middle of menopause.  And it’s kicking my tail.  I’m unmotivated and cranky.  I’m achy in all the joints. I’m exhausted. I’m hot and sweaty. I’m moody and plump.  And I’m not sleeping well at night.

So there is a distinct desire to catch a cat nap throughout the day. 

The best chance for that cat nap?  It’s Sunday afternoon.  We’ve already attended to morning chores.  We’ve gone to worship at church.  I’ve got dinner cooking and 9/10 times my son and husband are out fishing in the afternoon.  A perfect time for a snooze.

This decadent treat of a mid-day sleep normally occurs on the couch.  But I’ve fallen asleep on my back porch chairs and even on the swing bench by the firepit.  It doesn’t matter where I fall asleep on a Sunday afternoon…what matters is my weary body readily accepts this gift of sweet sleep. 

In Proverbs, we can read about this type of sleep.  “If you lie down, you will not be afraid; when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.” ~Proverbs 3:24 (ESV)

Part of the sweetness of this type of sleep is giving God my worries which often leads to my troubled sleepless nights.  Worry and regret weigh heavily on our minds, which often makes it hard to relax into slumber.  Solomon is a great example of someone who rejects foolishness by asking God for wisdom.  Part of wisdom is allowing those worries to not weigh us down. 

The wise among us, make prayerful decisions, trust the Lord with outcomes, and can sleep through the night like it’s a glorious Sunday afternoon nap.

I’m praying this week that we are all wise, prayerful, and granted full nights of restful sleep (or maybe even the occasional nap)!

~Emily

The Welcome Mat

I recently saw an ad for a mat that said, “Delivery person: Were Rachel and Ross on a break?” 

Yes, with an arrow to the right.

No, with an arrow to the left. 

Of course, there was a doorbell video of the subsequent deliveries being placed on the right or the left of the mat. 

As a ‘Friends’ fan, I found it humorous.

A welcome mat on the front porch often gives insight into the character of the people who live there.  In most cases, it’s a reflection of their personality.  I’ve seen “wipe your paws” or “Welcome” or the homeowner’s last name.  My current welcome mat simply has a bee on it. 

What is the purpose of the welcome mat?  To simply wipe your feet before entering the home?  Or is it more complex?  Perhaps it’s the true welcoming gesture into someone’s home and their life. 

Inside those homes, we often find lonely women who are completing the mundane chores of life. Folding laundry, kissing boo-boos, making dinner, paying bills, and raising children.  They could be single or married.  Mothers or Grandmothers.  Career-focused or school-focused.  All walks of life and all ages of women…who may be lonely despite their welcome mat at the front door.

The psalmist tells us “Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted.” ~Psalm 25:16

How can we combat the loneliness we see in ourselves and in other women?  We can dust off our own welcome mat and invite others into our space.  Who cares if you have toys on the floor or unfolded laundry on top of the dining room table?  Let those who are lonely see that they aren’t alone…and that we can stop pressuring ourselves and others to feel as though they must present a perfected picture of their home. 

As women, we don’t typically need to see perfection.  Rather, we’d like to see genuineness.  And in that genuine interaction, we see the ‘realness’ of one another.  We aren’t waiting to judge…we simply waiting to be invited in.

Perhaps the world needs more welcome mats. 

Even if they make a joke about Rachel and Ross being on a break…

~Emily

The Joy in the Lord

For the last couple of years since I moved to Alabama, Emily and I have participated in a Thrift Store Birthday Challenge.  We choose a theme several months ahead of time for each birthday.  We have a $30 budget, and one is responsible for putting together an outfit for the other around the theme.  Then we go out to dinner and celebrate.

Last Friday, we celebrated Emily’s birthday.  The theme, you ask?  Formal wear!  I managed to find the most amazing dress for her that capped out my budget!  She found a beautiful ensemble for me that looked like I was partly trying too hard and partly just a little blind.  We ended up at Coaches Corner in Wetumpka, and several of our friends decided to join us for the festivities.  There were so many people who came up to us and wanted to know what we were doing.  Pictures were taken, and overwhelmingly, the comment made to us was that we were so much fun!  Happiness and laughter was practically seeping from our pores!

Do people see that same kind of joy in us about Christ?  We are told that joy comes from the Lord and that we should rejoice in Him.  When we have the love of God in us, our spiritual cup should be overflowing with a happiness that only comes from the presence of the Spirit in our lives!

We’re told in Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.”

1 Peter 1:9 says, “and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”

Though we do not see Him…our joy for the Lord should be so much it’s almost too strong to be described.  Our joy in the Lord should have people asking, “what do they have and how can I get it?!”  It should be so genuine that it points others to the Way, the Truth, and the Life!

I know that some, though, may be going through difficult times and having the joy of the Lord may seem a long way in the distance.  Pastor Trey said something tonight in our Wednesday night service that encouraged me.  “Trials lead us to a place of exaltation.”  Even when we’re simply enduring, we can be assured that God is with us and working in us to bring us through.  There is joy to be found in even that, dear sisters.

I pray that this week we are exhibiting the joy we have in the Lord!

~Erin  

I Hate You & Other Valentine’s Declarations

In the middle of a heated argument that had frankly gone way too far, I said, “I hate you!”  That phrase stopped us both in our tracks.  Literally pumped the breaks on the fight. 

A couple of slow blinks and my husband said, “do you mean that?”

Stuttering and blinking back tears I said, “No, of course, I don’t mean that…I’m just so frustrated and angry…I’m not even sure why I would even say that to you…I am sorry…I shouldn’t have said it.” 

As Christian women, we’re quick to remind ourselves about being a Proverbs 31 woman.  That woman is faithful and expresses reverence towards her husband.  She’s strong, charitable, well-rounded, cares for her family, and fears the Lord.  That woman does not actively argue in anger with her husband.

Often I think we focus solely on the Proverbs 31 woman and we forget the example in Chapter 2 of Titus.  The Titus 2 woman is also a reverent, self-controlled gal who is submissive to her husband.  She also trains young women and is a teacher of good things.  She is specifically not slanderous.  That woman does not tell her husband that she hates him.

My hate-filled declaration during an argument was neither an example of Proverbs 31 or Titus 2.  Here, I violated two separate examples that God has given us about how to behave within a marriage.  Yet, God gives us other examples of harnessing our anger.  In Ephesians 4:31 (NASB) scripture says, “All bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and slander must be removed from you, along with all malice.”

Why must anger and slander be removed from us?  Simply stated, it’s hard, if not impossible, to love as Christ did while harboring anger. 

Proverbs 10:12 (NASB) tells us, “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.”

Love covers all offenses.  Real ones and perceived ones.  During a marital spat, I need the reminder that I love this guy I’m married to.  He’s not my enemy, rather he’s my teammate and I should be treating him with the respect that is demanded in both Proverbs 31 and Titus 2. 

Obviously, this is specific to marriage, but it’s applicable to any relationship where we want to demonstrate the love of the Lord.  We would all be better if we could remember the lessons of releasing anger and approaching one another in love.

So on the Hallmark holiday of love, I’ll make the public declaration:

I love you, babe…thanks for putting up with me.

~Emily