Category: Friendship

Sin Permeates Everything

There was a point in my life where I talked myself out of guilt time and time again to soothe myself into believing what I was doing was ok.  My marriage of five years was on the rocks.  My husband was always working.  I stayed at home with the kids and we lived 40 minutes from town.  I was allowed to go have a little fun with my girlfriend once in a while, right?!  It was no big deal, and the lady I was hanging out with went to church so it was completely “fine.”

Except that it wasn’t.  The occasional Girls Night Out on a weekend turned into every week.  One drink turned into drunk at the bar.  I wasn’t getting the attention I felt I deserved at home, so what was the harm in smiling at another guy…or talking to one.  As long as I wasn’t being inappropriate, what was the problem?  Did you notice that I not only tried to soothe my guilt but I also redefined what was considered inappropriate?!  Oh what a web we weave.

Sin permeates everything.

My first mistake was stepping back from church.  Satan set the trap.  Then I stepped back from daily time with the Lord.  Satan began to manipulate.  Instead of being discerning in my friendships, I looked for someone that commiserated rather than edified.  From then on, I was hooked.  Sin took over it all.  Within a year, I wasn’t even talking to God, I was filing for divorce, I had stopped engaging with any of my faithful Christian friends, and I was always looking for the fun party of the weekend.  Sin had taken over my life.  It seeped into my marriage and my friendships.  It melted into my relationship with Jesus.  Even at a moment when I thought I MIGHT be able to salvage my marriage, sin had impregnated so much of my life, I let Satan have the hold on me and continued with the divorce.

Sin.  Permeates.  Everything.

When the Pharisees spoke to Jesus in John 8, they couldn’t understand what He meant about being free when they had not been slaves since the time of Moses.  Jesus responded to them in John 8:34, “…Truly, truly I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin.” 

Sin makes you a slave.  It made me a slave to the world.  It made me a slave to the culture.  It made me a slave to Satan.  But God…

Thank you to the one true God who has infinite grace and mercy on a sinner like me!  When I repented of that sin and turned from it, I was released from it.  God didn’t see the jerk that I had been.  Now, He saw the remorseful Christian woman who surrendered it at His feet.

Maybe you’re recognizing just now that sin permeates it all.  Perhaps you think you’ve gone too far to have God forgive.  I’m here to tell you that that it’s not possible.  He seeks you even today.  No sin is too great.  No thought is too much.  No distance is too far.  He is right there waiting to forgive and welcome you back into the fold.  Sin doesn’t have to continue to seep into everything.  The Lord can take it over and turn into a beautiful work for His glory.

~Erin

The Joy in the Lord

For the last couple of years since I moved to Alabama, Emily and I have participated in a Thrift Store Birthday Challenge.  We choose a theme several months ahead of time for each birthday.  We have a $30 budget, and one is responsible for putting together an outfit for the other around the theme.  Then we go out to dinner and celebrate.

Last Friday, we celebrated Emily’s birthday.  The theme, you ask?  Formal wear!  I managed to find the most amazing dress for her that capped out my budget!  She found a beautiful ensemble for me that looked like I was partly trying too hard and partly just a little blind.  We ended up at Coaches Corner in Wetumpka, and several of our friends decided to join us for the festivities.  There were so many people who came up to us and wanted to know what we were doing.  Pictures were taken, and overwhelmingly, the comment made to us was that we were so much fun!  Happiness and laughter was practically seeping from our pores!

Do people see that same kind of joy in us about Christ?  We are told that joy comes from the Lord and that we should rejoice in Him.  When we have the love of God in us, our spiritual cup should be overflowing with a happiness that only comes from the presence of the Spirit in our lives!

We’re told in Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.”

1 Peter 1:9 says, “and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”

Though we do not see Him…our joy for the Lord should be so much it’s almost too strong to be described.  Our joy in the Lord should have people asking, “what do they have and how can I get it?!”  It should be so genuine that it points others to the Way, the Truth, and the Life!

I know that some, though, may be going through difficult times and having the joy of the Lord may seem a long way in the distance.  Pastor Trey said something tonight in our Wednesday night service that encouraged me.  “Trials lead us to a place of exaltation.”  Even when we’re simply enduring, we can be assured that God is with us and working in us to bring us through.  There is joy to be found in even that, dear sisters.

I pray that this week we are exhibiting the joy we have in the Lord!

~Erin  

Is Church Necessary?

Anyone who has read my blog posts for at least a year, knows the story of my youngest daughter who attempted suicide in the spring of last year.  I found myself out of whack with everything, really struggling to not be overwhelmed.  I was focused on working with her to feel better, dealing with the trauma of seeing her that way, and working on the family issues that ensued while still maintaining my work schedule and leading a group.  A situation like that takes its toll on everything!

I had been visiting a church fairly regularly but had not joined, nor had I made a real effort to even get to know anyone or become very involved.  I would reason with myself that I’m involved with two Bible studies that take time.  I read my Bible every morning.  I pray.  I blog.  And I was tired from the stress of the fallout of the attempted suicide.  So I missed a few Sundays.  Who cares?  God knew I was in the Bible every other day of the week, is it really necessary to be in church every week?  Sometimes, we have things to do!  But then I missed a few more.  Next thing I know, it had been months.

After some evaluation at the end of last year, I came to the realization that one of my greatest weekly needs was church, and that I floundered spiritually without it.  Let me explain how I came to that…

In Acts 11, we see Saul preach for an entire year at the church in Antioch.  The Greek word, ekklesia, is used for church, which meant an assembly of people.  In 1 Timothy, we see Paul writing to Timothy encouraging him to public reading of the scripture, to exhort and teach.  People were gathering at that local church.  It was important to be among like-minded Christians to learn about Jesus.  I was missing the larger picture of that by not going to church.

Praise is important.  In Colossians 3:16, Paul reminds us to let the word of Christ dwell in us richly, teaching and admonishing each other, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.  He said each other, not by yourself.  As everyone lifts their voices together in praise it reminds me of the moments in the Bible where we see the angels singing, praising our Heavenly Father.  It brings glory to the Lord.  I missed the chorus of voices that praised the Lord with me.

The biggest reason, however, that I’ve felt the need to be back in church is for the community that comes with belonging to a congregation. 

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. –Hebrews 10:24-25

We are told to love on each other, meet each other and encourage each other.  I felt the absence of this more than ever during that season of my life last year.  My friends and my family were wonderful in my time of need.  But there is something about having a church behind you, praying for you, and seeing to your needs.  It’s the hands and feet of Christ serving for God in a way that only a church can do.  It’s powerful.  It’s humbling.  It’s encouraging.  It’s comforting.

After having attended church my whole life, this last year was the longest I’ve ever been out of church.  And the absence of it reminded me of just how much church is necessary.  This Sunday, I plan to go forward and join my church.    

Maybe you haven’t found your church.  Maybe you’re afraid to go.  Maybe you’re afraid to sit alone in a pew (I know it can be scary sometimes).  Let this week be the week you decide to find your church. If you’re looking, Iron Porch would be happy to give you some recommendations of some good churches in the area.  And you’re always welcome to join me at First Baptist in Tallassee….it’s my new home.

~Erin

Expecting an Answer

I was reading about the four men who lowered their friend through the roof down to Jesus in Mark 2 this week during church.  It’s the story of the paralyzed man who was healed.  These people brought their friend who couldn’t walk to be healed, and upon getting there, couldn’t get into the room where Jesus was speaking.  Verse 4 tells us that when they couldn’t get through, they went up to the roof, cut a hole in the ceiling and lowered him down to see Jesus.

Mark 2:5 says, “And Jesus, seeing their faith, said to the paralyzed man, ‘Son, your sins are forgiven.’”

I don’t know how this feels to you, but this whole story screams of courage.  More importantly it took faith, a tremendous amount of faith.  They had an air of expectancy when they walked up to that house.  They didn’t come hoping Jesus would heal their friend.  They EXPECTED that Jesus would heal their friend.  They believed that Jesus being who He is would heal the man.  And in that day, not only did Jesus forgive the man of his sins and heal him spiritually, He told him to pick up his pallet and go home (vs. 11) and healed him physically.

Do we have that same expectancy when we come to Jesus with our petitions?  I know there are times when I wish His answers were as clear as the answer given to the paralyzed man.  But I also recognize that I need to come to Him with an expectation that He WILL answer my petition…in the way that most brings Him the glory. 

I think that coming to him with the expectation that there will be an answer allows me to be content with whatever the answer is.  Think about those 4 friends and Jesus’s immediate answer to the paralyzed man.  The initial answer wasn’t that he could walk.  He DID, however, give him an answer that still healed.

I pray, Iron Porch, that as we come to the throne of God with our petitions, seeking Christ, that we have that same air of expectancy of an answer.  Because the answer He gives will be the right answer for you.

~Erin

Tornadoes of Life

From my sliding glass door, I once watched a tornado form and touch down.  That was in Cheyenne, WY.  It wasn’t until I bought a house with my husband in Alabama that I was actually within a polygon for a tornado watch or warning.  And now…I’ve been in more than I can count.  It wasn’t until we settled into retirement in central Alabama that we found out this area is called “Dixie Alley,” as a parallel to “Tornado Alley” in the mid-west. 

In the last week, countless communities and lives have been impacted by a string of tornadoes that powered through Alabama.  The day of the storms was a tidal wave of emotions.  At first, very little concern over the weather.  Then I rush home to pick up outdoor furniture before deciding to go check my son out of school early.  While waiting in a mile-long line of parents picking up their own children early, we learned that a huge tornado had already touched down in Selma.  And we learned that the same supercell was heading toward the communities around us. 

It was a rare moment where I spontaneously began praying out loud while in line (although it was under my breath and not very “out loud”).  I prayed for protection over our small town that has already endured so many tragedies over the last year, but specifically, I was praying for the communities that had already been hit.  I had full confidence that the Lord heard these prayers.  Why?  Because in John 14:13-14 (ESV) we read, “Whatever you ask in my name, this I will do, that the Father may be glorified in the Son.  If you ask me anything in my name, I will do it.”

Do you want to know what was more touching than my simple prayers in line?  The response to those who were in need.  Within hours, massive clothing and food drives were organized. Teams of chainsaw-welding men patrolled neighborhoods.  Linemen from in and out of state restored power to all the homes of Alabama.  Social media sprung to life trying to connect photographs tossed miles from home to families. 

Why was there such an intense outpouring of love and response in the moments after these tornadoes touched down?  In some cases, it may be out of kindness or because you would hope that someone would do the same for you. 

For the Christian, it may be because Jesus told us to.  In John 15:12-13 (ESV) Jesus said, “My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.  Greater love has no one than this, to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”   Jesus demonstrated an extravagant love for people.  While we can’t literally lay down our lives for others in daily life, we can choose to love extravagantly in smaller ways.  For instance, we can donate to those who need tangible items after losing everything in a natural disaster. 

God told us in Galatians 6:2, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ.”  This means that we do not have to do life alone and that we should be trying to assist one another in burdens and tragedies.  When we see others struggling, we can choose to help with our support, our love, our finances, and any other resources that we may have.  This is a physical outpouring of the love Christ shows us and we in turn can show others.

In the midst of a natural disaster that doesn’t directly impact your home, it’s easy to praise God for sparing you and yours.  However, Hebrews 13:16 reminds us “And do not forget to do good and to share with others, for with such sacrifices God is pleased.”  This is a practical reminder to continuously look for ways to impact others with blessings.

The tornadoes that ripped through Alabama last week were devastating.  Yet, it’s been refreshing to watch how much love and care is being shown to the families who lost loved ones and those who are having to rebuild their homes and businesses.  The reality is this: we should react this way during a disaster.  But we should also react this way daily…even when it isn’t tragedy. 

I truly pray that we can act this way towards one another during a crisis and during the calm. 

~Emily

A Heavy Christmas

My heart hurts right now for the people who are celebrating Christmas during a tough time.  I’m thinking about the family that’s saying an earthly goodbye to a mom.  I think about the parents holding their son’s hand as he fights for his life in a hospital room.  I think about the mom who’s spending her first Christmas without her son and the widow who’s now alone at Christmas.

How do you comfort someone on what feels like a joyous time of year when the human struggle inside reminds them of the pain and/or worry they feel?  What do you say that doesn’t sound insincere or inadequate? 

I’ve been struggling this week to find the balance for my blog post because of this.  I wanted to write to you, Iron Porch, and talk about what the spirit of Christmas means.  But when I sit down to write, I keep coming back to people who are suffering during Christmas and how much it just might hurt to see everyone so joyful and happy when the days, to you, seem to drag out or maybe even in the opposite direction, are going too quickly.  I guess this is my attempt to find the balance…

Humanity messed up the idea of a sinless life.  Because of that, God knew we needed a Savior.  And He went big.  It was foretold in Isaiah 9:6 (NASB), “For a Child will be born to us, a Son will be given to us; and the government will rest on His shoulders; and His name will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.”

God knew we needed a sacrifice to cover our sins, a truly spotless Lamb.  So He sent His perfect Son.  It was the gift of all gifts.  A gift we didn’t deserve.  A gift we still don’t.  And yet He so loved us that He sent Jesus down to earth to become that sacrifice.  Jesus gives us perfect answers even when we don’t understand.  He is just and merciful at the same time.  His love as a Father far surpasses that of any human father, and He will bring peace to this Earth once again.

Joseph was told in a dream what was happening.  “She will give birth to a Son; and you shall name Him Jesus, for He will save His people from their sins.” –Matthew 1:21 (NASB)

He will save His people.  God sent His Son for you.  We celebrate Christmas because the Son of Man came into this world as a babe lying in a dirty manger, grew up, died on the cross, and rose again so that we could accept the free gift of salvation as believers. 

Being believers, we know that the Holy Spirit dwells in us.  Jesus called Him the Comforter (KJV).  So here’s what I would say to the people I’m thinking about this week…

Because He dwells in us, He’s right there with you while you grieve.  He’s there as you celebrate.  He’s there as you mourn.  He will not abandon you.  He will sustain you.  

I’m praying for these families as I go through this week and celebrate the birth of Jesus.  I ask you to join me in prayer for them, as well, and for all families that may be going through a difficult Christmas season. 

I love you and Merry Christmas,

Erin

The Anticipation

I finally got to see my friend again!

Three and a half years ago, I wrote a blog about my new friend, Mr. Parker.  For those who are new, let me link that blog here.  It was a chance meeting.  I was given an earlier seat on a connecting flight in February 2019, and a friendship blossomed in just 40 minutes from Birmingham to Atlanta!  Mr. Parker calls it divine intervention.  I agree!

We’ve been hoping the last several years to figure out a way to see each other in person again.  I was looking forward to meeting his wife and spending time together.  But between Covid and us living across the country from each other, it wasn’t possible.  I cherished every phone call we had talking about so many things, our families, the state of the country, the people we knew.  But we both wanted to be able to sit with each other again and see each other’s faces.  We both looked forward to the day that would happen. 

Two weeks ago, we got our wish, and I took Emily with me just a short drive down the road to have dinner with Mr. and Mrs. Parker! When I walked into the restaurant and saw them standing there and got to hug both of them, the joy I felt from anticipating this long-awaited meeting was overwhelming. 

I have the same anticipation for another meeting—the meeting of my Heavenly Father.  I think to Paul writing to the Philippians.  He was imprisoned at the time and looking to encourage the church in Philippi.  He wrote to them about the gospel being preached and how he was trusting God even during the time he was in prison.  And then he says this of his situation:

“For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain.  But if I am to live on in the flesh, this will mean fruitful labor for me; and I do not know which to choose.  But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better;” –Philippians 1:21-23

He longed to be with Jesus.  He anticipated his time in heaven, worshipping the God of salvation.  While he loved his family and friends and he loved the ministry, he recognized that to be in heaven bowing at the feet of the Father far surpassed any wonderful thing he could experience on the earth.

I want to be the same way, and as we study the book of Revelation, I’m reminded even more about the joy that will come from seeing the face of Jesus.  I want to thank God for creating me.  I want show reverence to Him for His sovereignty.  I long to worship with the heavenly host singing praises about the glory of the King of Kings.

As much as I want to be here enjoying my time on this earth, I long even more to see the face of Jesus.

I pray that as we celebrate during this holiday season, we anticipate not only the celebration of His birth but the face-to-face meeting we will one day have!

~Erin

Traeger Pizza

My husband owns a Traeger smoker and it makes AMAZING pizza.  Next to brick oven pizza from Italy, this is my favorite way to have pizza.

Notice I said, my husband owns a Traeger smoker. Not “we.” Not “me.”  My husband. 

Years ago, when the Traeger was a fairly new addition to our house, my husband got it going with food happily smoking on its grates before leaving the property to take care of an errand.  I was left in charge of the Traeger and smoking meat.

It caught on fire.

Legitimately, I caught the darn thing on fire. There was smoke billowing up and I was confident the entire porch roof was going to go up in flames…and then I had visions of the entire house being engulfed in fire. I was a hysterical crying mess by the time my husband, father-in-law, and son came home.  

Since the Traeger fire catastrophe, I have not touched the Traeger. Not once. I won’t plug it in, I won’t monitor the temperature, I can barely bring myself to put the cover back on it the next day after it’s cooled down.  I DO NOT touch the Traeger.

I can think of countless times in my life when a crisis (like the Traeger fire) has caused me to completely withdraw and build up walls (as in, the vow to never touch the smoker ever, ever again).   A betrayal; wall built.  Lies; back away.  A broken promise; trust destroyed.  Double-cross; abandon the relationship.  Maybe it’s been a friendship, something at church, a fight with parents, grumbling with a significant other, work strife, struggles at schools…we’ve all been in similar scenarios.  Something happens that causes us to back away from those involved with the scenario.  

You know who never leaves?  Who never backs away?  Who doesn’t forsake us?  

God.  

Scripture repeatedly reminds us that the Lord is always near us and does not leave us when there are times we feel abandoned.  

“The Lord is near to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” ~Psalm 34:18 (NASB)

“And the Lord is the one who is going ahead of you; He will be with you. He will not desert you or abandon you. Do not fear and do not be dismayed.” ~Deuteronomy 31:8 (NASB)

“Teaching them to follow all that I commanded you; and behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age.” ~Matthew 28:20

Regardless of the crisis, conflict, or tragedy and regardless of how we react, we only need to hang onto the promise that God will not leave us.  

I believe God is always near me and that my reaction to strife doesn’t always have to include extremes.  I’ll be praying this next week that we all have opportunities to see where we can react more gently in knowing God is with us.  

I’m still not willing to touch the Traeger.  

~Emily

Disdain for Christmas Music

One of the women in the Bible Study I facilitate recently dropped a bomb on me.  With a slight shrug of one shoulder she said, “I hate Christmas music.” Then like a psycho, she just sat there waiting for me to respond.

I’d like to say I was kind and understanding with a grace-filled response.  Instead.  Instead, I’m sure I was slack-jawed and bug-eyed when I nearly screeched, “Are you kidding me right now?!?!?!”  I knew that there were non-Christmas-music-listening people; however, I did not know they existed within my circle of friends!  

Maybe I’m the psycho one, but I have no problem listening to Christmas music year-round. In fact, I have a “go-to” Christmas station pre-programed on Pandora. 

For me, there is something soul-stirring about Christmas music.  Not gimmicky-secular Christmas music (although there is a place for that on my play-list too).  I’m talking about the soul-stirring Christmas music that reminds of Christ’s birth, of angels singing, of wise men traveling, of God’s purpose in sending his Son, and of the ultimate gift we are given by our Heavenly Father.  Those types of Christmas songs truly speak to my heart. 

And I sing them anytime that the mood strikes me…even if it’s nowhere near December.  

In addition to studying the Word and having a healthy prayer life, I would contend that worship of God through music is one of the most effective means to build our personal relationships with Christ.  It’s an act of obedience and one that we will continue once we’re in heaven (for just one Biblical example, see Revelation Chapters 4 & 5 to see how we’ll be worshiping there).

In regards to Christmas music, it helps me remember who I am exalting and the reasons for wanting to participate in the act of worship.  For me, it’s especially impactful at Christmas so that I stay centered on my Christian walk, when society could easily distract me towards the non-essential trappings of the holiday season.  

That may not be true for everyone.  Maybe the Contemporary Christian Music does it, or Grandma’s favorite hymn, or maybe just reading Psalms with classical music in the background is what helps you focus.  

The amazing thing about soul-stirring music that exalts Jesus, is that it doesn’t have to be Christmas music.  Therefore, my sweet friend who despises Christmas music can worship just as effectively with other songs and hymns.  

We can both show excitement for singing at Christmas…without either of us being psycho! 

~Emily

“Sing to the Lord with thanksgiving. Sing praises to our God on the lyre.” Psalm 147:7 (NASB)

Maggie…And Some Kind Words

It’s been a hard week…again.

While I wouldn’t trade this last year in Alabama for anything and we’ve had such a wonderful time in our new home, we’ve had a year specifically marked with sadness.  This last week our 14-year-old sweet pup, Maggie, passed away. 

We got her when she was just 10 months old, the one that got left behind because no one wanted a solid sandy-colored Shih-tzu.  We wanted her, though.  The kids fell in love with her.  Peyton was just barely three when we got her, and it was hysterical to watch this little puppy chase her and grab onto her undies and tug.  Peyton was the little Coppertone baby!

She became a therapy pet for Peyton when she was diagnosed with Separation Anxiety Disorder; this dog was attached to her at the hip!  Peyton even tried smuggling Maggie in a bag once when she had to go to work with me. 

But it was time, and I’m thankful that Peyton and I got to be there.  As we walked out of the vet’s examination room, we were greeted by little puppies and kittens in the lobby.  Peyton and I were visibly upset, and the waiting patrons were so kind to us as we sat and waited for them to bring Maggie out in her little burial box.  “I’m so sorry” scattered across the room, and one mother and daughter even stood up and asked if they could give us a hug.  As we left, the mother called out, “We’re praying for you.”

I don’t know if they are Christians.  I don’t know if they know the Lord.  But that moment of kindness and words of prayers reminded me that the Bible tells us to treat others exactly that way.

Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, –Colossians 3:12

Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. –1 Peter 4:9

And as you wish that others would to do you, do so to them. –Luke 6:31

We are meant to show compassion to those around us.  When we are as God asks us to be, it brings glory to Him!  When someone needs a hug or a kind word, when we are the hands and feet of the body of Christ, we show honor to the Father that created us.  You may not know the person you’re helping.  Maybe you don’t realize what a simple hug can do or how kind words can put salve on a wound.  But those moments where we obey God’s command to love, be kind, or treat others respectfully gives someone a moment where they see Jesus.

And I saw Jesus at work as those sweet women hugged Peyton tight and told her they were so sorry for her loss.

Dear friends, let find opportunities this week to do what God would have us do for each other…be kind, loving, tenderhearted, and compassionate!

~Erin