Category: Erin

The Gifts Test

I’m sure most of us have all taken a “Gifts” test at a church we’ve been a part of!  If you haven’t, let me explain it to you; it’s typically a 20-30 item form that gives you statements about your personality.  You  answer them by rating each one on a scale of 1-5 (1 means ‘never’, 5 being ‘always’).  The statements include things like, “Working with my hands is fun for me” or “I pray for the lost daily.”  “Having people over to my house is something I do often” and “I tend to motivate others to get involved” are two others you might see.  Once your test total is figured out, it shows you where your strengths and best areas of services are for you within the church!  This last Monday, the subject of callings, gifts, and ministry was being discussed at our Table 8 Bible Study as we were going through chapter 3 in the book of John.In verses 22-26, we see Jesus and His disciples back in Judea.  John the Baptist and His disciples were also in the same area.   The Baptist’s disciples brought up to John the fact that Jesus and His disciples were baptizing and those people were going to Jesus instead of John.  We pick up at John’s response to them in verses 27-30.  John answered and said, “A man can receive nothing unless it has been given him from heaven.  You yourselves are my witnesses that I said, ‘I am not the Christ,’ but, ‘I have been sent ahead of Him.’  He who has the bride is the bridegroom; but the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears him, rejoices greatly because of the bridegroom’s voice.  So this joy of mine has been made full.  He must increase, but I must decrease.”John clearly tells his disciples that no man gets his ministry unless it’s given to him by heaven.  John was there only to be the ‘friend of the bridegroom.’  God gave him the calling and gift of evangelism to prepare the way, not to be THE one.Often we think about what we’re good at in regards to gifts.  After all, that’s the point of the test.  We see that God’s calling on our lives is usually to use our gifts for His glory and that’s typically why He’s allowed us to excel in them. See example of John the Baptist!However, we have to remember that sometimes God’s calling in our lives is not what we expect or want.  Sometimes the calling or the ministry that’s given to you by heaven is scary and overwhelming.  Please don’t say that, Erin!  But I have to…Look at Moses!  He fought with God on His calling.  He asked God multiple times, “But what if they don’t believe me?”  And God showed Him the miracles he could perform and what to say.  Moses then told God he was not eloquent in speech, he wouldn’t be able to do it.  God tells him, “I’ll be with you and teach you what to say.”  STILL, Moses tells him to send someone else!  Ultimately, we see Moses finally obeying and delivering the Israelites out of Egypt as God commanded.How about Gideon who was called to take his army and defeat the Midianites?  He told God his people were the weakest in the area and he was the “least” in his family.  God not only allowed him to defeat the army but he was also a judge for Israel.I know it’s easy to think that what we’re the best at is what God will call us to do.  But I pray we’re all daily asking God what our calling is from Him so that He can use us in whichever way He desires despite what our gifts test says!~Erin

Doers of the Word

I noticed late last night that I had a large bug bite on my cheek.  I didn’t realize it was really there until my loving husband looked over at me and said, “What’s up with the big zit?”!  He’s such a gentle soul.

I went into the bathroom and stared at if for several minutes.  I poked it a little, looking up close and then backing away as if a different perspective could make it disappear.  But what I was trying to do was figure out if it was a bug bite or indeed a “big zit” resting on my cheek so that I knew what I needed to do for treatment.

Believe it or not, staring in the mirror made me think about a passage in James I was reading last week! We were talking about being doers of the word.

“But prove yourselves doers of the word, and not merely hearers who delude themselves.  For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks at his natural face in a mirror, for once he has looked at himself and gone away, he has immediately forgotten what kind of person he is.  But one who looks intently at the perfect law, the law of liberty, and abides by it, not having become a forgetful hearer but an effectual doer, this man will be blessed in what he does.” –James 1:22-25

As hearers of the word, we deceive ourselves.  We don’t take the time to see what the word really tells us or how it can shape and teach us.  For hearers, the mirror is only a reflection of what we’re doing in the moment, forgetting what it means as soon as we look away.

When we are doers of the word, we look in the mirror deliberately, using it as correction.  We look with intention and recognize that daily sanctification is necessary to bring us closer to God.  We focus on following the word so that corrective action (the doing) can be taken in our lives where it needs to be taken.

I don’t know about you, but I want to be much more than a hearer.  I want to soak in the word, understanding the application of it within my life.  My goal is to be a doer, to find the areas that are in need of correction so that I continue to daily die to self and be sanctified.  I want to effectually take the message and tell others the gospel and love of Jesus.

I pray this week that we recognize ourselves as doers of the word!

~Erin

One Year Later-Letting Go

It’s through a much different lens that I see Peyton now.  Just a year ago, her dad and I hugged her goodbye as she started her brief inpatient stay on the adolescent psychiatric ward for a suicide attempt.  She had failed in an overdose, and she needed help that we couldn’t give her.

It’s been a long road of therapy appointments, medication management, and the battle of wills as our family settled into a different kind of normal that now presented itself.  After she came home, my days typically ended with me wondering if I’d hovered too much or didn’t hover enough.  I questioned whether I gave her too much freedom that day or not as much as she needed.  Did I hug her the right number of times?  Did she remember that I loved her?  Did she still have thoughts of suicide?

Every day was an endless list of questions in my head.  And to be honest, it was probably an endless list of questions in Peyton’s head, too.  But she was using new skills to tell us when she was struggling and utilizing coping techniques when she became anxious. 

She was working hard to fix herself on her own and has made several adult choices along the way to include moving out and making her own decisions without the confines of parental rules and regulations.  She’s not going wild, so don’t fret about that!  

How does that look for a mom and a Christian? 

As a mom at first, it meant DEVASTATION!  I want to protect her at all cost.  I saw her in the most vulnerable position last year trying to choose death over life.  I want to guarantee the people she’s friends with are good and strong, loving and dependable.  I want to know she’s eating more than McDonald’s every day and that she’s taking her medication and attending her therapy.     

As a Christian mom, it meant DEVASTATION!  I want her to be in church.  I want her to turn her heart back to God and allow Him to help heal her.  I want her in her Bible and trusting that God hasn’t left her alone.  I want her to remember the joy of the Lord she had before!

But what about as a CHRISTIAN?  Let’s take away the emotion behind being this sweet girl’s mother.  The Lord tells me in Psalm 127:3a, “Behold children are a gift of the Lord.”  She is a gift to me, but the Lord gave her to me as a gift, so He sees and knows her worth.  She is not lost on Him.  He values her as the gift that she is.

Philippians 1:6 says, “For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work among you will complete it by the day of Jesus Christ.”  He’s not done with her.  Just because Peyton chooses to try and “fix” herself doesn’t mean that He’s given up on her.  He’s not dumping her on the wayside because she believes she can do it on her own.  He began a good work in her and I’m am assured that it will be completed. 

When I take away the emotion and fear as a mother, I’m left with trusting a Savior to be there when I can’t.  I’m left with trusting a Holy Spirit to nudge her heart.  I’m left with trusting a Father to never leave her or forsake her.

And that’s tough.  Any mother, friend, aunt, grandparent, etc who’s been in this situation knows that God has given us a desire to protect our friends and loved ones in something like this.  But He’s also given us the tools to understand that it’s HIS job to take the burden, not ours.

So here I am….letting go.  I’m trusting God will do the job that I’m inadequate for.  She’s His child.  He loves her even more than I do. 

~Erin

Sin Permeates Everything

There was a point in my life where I talked myself out of guilt time and time again to soothe myself into believing what I was doing was ok.  My marriage of five years was on the rocks.  My husband was always working.  I stayed at home with the kids and we lived 40 minutes from town.  I was allowed to go have a little fun with my girlfriend once in a while, right?!  It was no big deal, and the lady I was hanging out with went to church so it was completely “fine.”

Except that it wasn’t.  The occasional Girls Night Out on a weekend turned into every week.  One drink turned into drunk at the bar.  I wasn’t getting the attention I felt I deserved at home, so what was the harm in smiling at another guy…or talking to one.  As long as I wasn’t being inappropriate, what was the problem?  Did you notice that I not only tried to soothe my guilt but I also redefined what was considered inappropriate?!  Oh what a web we weave.

Sin permeates everything.

My first mistake was stepping back from church.  Satan set the trap.  Then I stepped back from daily time with the Lord.  Satan began to manipulate.  Instead of being discerning in my friendships, I looked for someone that commiserated rather than edified.  From then on, I was hooked.  Sin took over it all.  Within a year, I wasn’t even talking to God, I was filing for divorce, I had stopped engaging with any of my faithful Christian friends, and I was always looking for the fun party of the weekend.  Sin had taken over my life.  It seeped into my marriage and my friendships.  It melted into my relationship with Jesus.  Even at a moment when I thought I MIGHT be able to salvage my marriage, sin had impregnated so much of my life, I let Satan have the hold on me and continued with the divorce.

Sin.  Permeates.  Everything.

When the Pharisees spoke to Jesus in John 8, they couldn’t understand what He meant about being free when they had not been slaves since the time of Moses.  Jesus responded to them in John 8:34, “…Truly, truly I say to you, everyone who commits sin is a slave to sin.” 

Sin makes you a slave.  It made me a slave to the world.  It made me a slave to the culture.  It made me a slave to Satan.  But God…

Thank you to the one true God who has infinite grace and mercy on a sinner like me!  When I repented of that sin and turned from it, I was released from it.  God didn’t see the jerk that I had been.  Now, He saw the remorseful Christian woman who surrendered it at His feet.

Maybe you’re recognizing just now that sin permeates it all.  Perhaps you think you’ve gone too far to have God forgive.  I’m here to tell you that that it’s not possible.  He seeks you even today.  No sin is too great.  No thought is too much.  No distance is too far.  He is right there waiting to forgive and welcome you back into the fold.  Sin doesn’t have to continue to seep into everything.  The Lord can take it over and turn into a beautiful work for His glory.

~Erin

The Joy in the Lord

For the last couple of years since I moved to Alabama, Emily and I have participated in a Thrift Store Birthday Challenge.  We choose a theme several months ahead of time for each birthday.  We have a $30 budget, and one is responsible for putting together an outfit for the other around the theme.  Then we go out to dinner and celebrate.

Last Friday, we celebrated Emily’s birthday.  The theme, you ask?  Formal wear!  I managed to find the most amazing dress for her that capped out my budget!  She found a beautiful ensemble for me that looked like I was partly trying too hard and partly just a little blind.  We ended up at Coaches Corner in Wetumpka, and several of our friends decided to join us for the festivities.  There were so many people who came up to us and wanted to know what we were doing.  Pictures were taken, and overwhelmingly, the comment made to us was that we were so much fun!  Happiness and laughter was practically seeping from our pores!

Do people see that same kind of joy in us about Christ?  We are told that joy comes from the Lord and that we should rejoice in Him.  When we have the love of God in us, our spiritual cup should be overflowing with a happiness that only comes from the presence of the Spirit in our lives!

We’re told in Philippians 4:4, “Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice.”

1 Peter 1:9 says, “and though you have not seen Him, you love Him, and though you do not see Him now, but believe in Him, you greatly rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory, obtaining as the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.”

Though we do not see Him…our joy for the Lord should be so much it’s almost too strong to be described.  Our joy in the Lord should have people asking, “what do they have and how can I get it?!”  It should be so genuine that it points others to the Way, the Truth, and the Life!

I know that some, though, may be going through difficult times and having the joy of the Lord may seem a long way in the distance.  Pastor Trey said something tonight in our Wednesday night service that encouraged me.  “Trials lead us to a place of exaltation.”  Even when we’re simply enduring, we can be assured that God is with us and working in us to bring us through.  There is joy to be found in even that, dear sisters.

I pray that this week we are exhibiting the joy we have in the Lord!

~Erin  

Unpacking Boxes

On Sunday, my husband completed a 9’ bookshelf for me!  I have boxes of books that have just been waiting for a home, and Chris built me beautiful shelves to begin placing them.  Slowly, but surely, I’m going through each box and getting them on the shelves.  My next step is to alphabetize my fiction and non-fiction books by author as well as separate my Bible study and reference material!  I’m kind of a nerd like that, so I’m very excited!

Sometimes, we have emotional “boxes” in our lives that we’ve tucked away like my books.  It’s something we need to unpack but something hinders us from doing it.  Perhaps it’s a hurt that you don’t wish to feel again.  Maybe it’s anger that you’ve stuffed down to avoid.  It could even be a fear that you’re not ready to deal with.

We keep the boxes hidden away because we don’t have the capacity or space to handle it.  What hinders me from pulling those boxes out, usually, is the need to control the current situation or the outcome.  If I can’t feel it, I don’t have to deal with it.  If I don’t have to deal with it, I don’t have to accept the answer.  The problem is, though, that the box never really goes away.  You just pile boxes on top of it until you’ve got a closet full of old boxes that never get dealt with.

You know who can handle them?  Our God can.  He tells us to give it to Him.  “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.” –Matthew 11:28-30

He tells us to come to Him and He will help us.  We are to take on the yoke of the Father.  Why?  Because His yoke is comfortable and light.  But how is that possible? Because He bears it with us.  Isn’t that beautiful!  We don’t have to take on those boxes by ourselves.  We have God who walks with us, who is with us through the hard stuff.  It’s truly a gift.

I pray if you have boxes that need unpacking in your life, that you lean into the King of Kings and allow Him to help you as you begin the process.

~Erin

Is Church Necessary?

Anyone who has read my blog posts for at least a year, knows the story of my youngest daughter who attempted suicide in the spring of last year.  I found myself out of whack with everything, really struggling to not be overwhelmed.  I was focused on working with her to feel better, dealing with the trauma of seeing her that way, and working on the family issues that ensued while still maintaining my work schedule and leading a group.  A situation like that takes its toll on everything!

I had been visiting a church fairly regularly but had not joined, nor had I made a real effort to even get to know anyone or become very involved.  I would reason with myself that I’m involved with two Bible studies that take time.  I read my Bible every morning.  I pray.  I blog.  And I was tired from the stress of the fallout of the attempted suicide.  So I missed a few Sundays.  Who cares?  God knew I was in the Bible every other day of the week, is it really necessary to be in church every week?  Sometimes, we have things to do!  But then I missed a few more.  Next thing I know, it had been months.

After some evaluation at the end of last year, I came to the realization that one of my greatest weekly needs was church, and that I floundered spiritually without it.  Let me explain how I came to that…

In Acts 11, we see Saul preach for an entire year at the church in Antioch.  The Greek word, ekklesia, is used for church, which meant an assembly of people.  In 1 Timothy, we see Paul writing to Timothy encouraging him to public reading of the scripture, to exhort and teach.  People were gathering at that local church.  It was important to be among like-minded Christians to learn about Jesus.  I was missing the larger picture of that by not going to church.

Praise is important.  In Colossians 3:16, Paul reminds us to let the word of Christ dwell in us richly, teaching and admonishing each other, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs.  He said each other, not by yourself.  As everyone lifts their voices together in praise it reminds me of the moments in the Bible where we see the angels singing, praising our Heavenly Father.  It brings glory to the Lord.  I missed the chorus of voices that praised the Lord with me.

The biggest reason, however, that I’ve felt the need to be back in church is for the community that comes with belonging to a congregation. 

And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near. –Hebrews 10:24-25

We are told to love on each other, meet each other and encourage each other.  I felt the absence of this more than ever during that season of my life last year.  My friends and my family were wonderful in my time of need.  But there is something about having a church behind you, praying for you, and seeing to your needs.  It’s the hands and feet of Christ serving for God in a way that only a church can do.  It’s powerful.  It’s humbling.  It’s encouraging.  It’s comforting.

After having attended church my whole life, this last year was the longest I’ve ever been out of church.  And the absence of it reminded me of just how much church is necessary.  This Sunday, I plan to go forward and join my church.    

Maybe you haven’t found your church.  Maybe you’re afraid to go.  Maybe you’re afraid to sit alone in a pew (I know it can be scary sometimes).  Let this week be the week you decide to find your church. If you’re looking, Iron Porch would be happy to give you some recommendations of some good churches in the area.  And you’re always welcome to join me at First Baptist in Tallassee….it’s my new home.

~Erin

Self-Denying or Self-Indulgent

We live in a world today that is all about the ‘ME.’  TikToks and IG posts are filled with “Top 20 Amazon Finds under $20” and the next “State of the Art Cookware.”  You simply must have the biggest TV to watch the Superbowl, and everyone must know about it.  I’m guilty of telling my husband I want the $1000 cookware that Gordon Ramsay swears by.  (Don’t worry, my husband gives me the same look you’re giving the screen as you read this!) Do I need it?  No.  But it’s so cool and the chefs use it.  It’s alright…you can roll your eyes at me!  We also often see talk of self-care and taking care of our own needs first.

Here, however, is where I out myself and possibly step on some toes in the process.  I can tell you the last time I went out for dinner but I can’t tell you the last time I gave to Missions at my church—at ANY church in the last 3 years.  Ask me about the last time I assisted a homeless person or prayed with one, yet I’ve made sure to cover myself in prayer when I had some shoulder pain.  Let’s look past monetary needs…when’s the last time I stopped myself from speaking negatively to my husband so I could have the last word and instead prayed silently for his relationship with Christ in that moment. I could go on forever.

The point here is, are we living a self-denying lifestyle or are we living a self-indulgent lifestyle?

We see a couple of examples in the Bible of people who chose a self-denying lifestyle.  Daniel declined to participate in the food and drink that King Nebuchadnezzar required of him.  He made a decision that he wouldn’t defile his body in things that God had said “No” to in order to please and honor Him.

We know the Jews told John the Baptist that he must’ve had a demon because he came fasting and refused to drink wine.  He chose to deny himself.  We see Paul talking multiple times about denying ourselves.  In fact, Paul wrote one of the most beautiful verses in Galatians 2:20.

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which now I live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself up for me.”

Are we living like this?  Are we recognizing that the Holy Spirit lives in us as believers and that our lives are not our own anymore?  We were bought with a price.  That price was the blood of the Lamb.  It shouldn’t be asking too much for me to stop indulging this world, instead denying ‘self’ and giving myself to serve God.

I pray that this week we recognize where our indulgences are.  The challenge I’m throwing out there is to begin denying self and start honoring God.

~Erin

Expecting an Answer

I was reading about the four men who lowered their friend through the roof down to Jesus in Mark 2 this week during church.  It’s the story of the paralyzed man who was healed.  These people brought their friend who couldn’t walk to be healed, and upon getting there, couldn’t get into the room where Jesus was speaking.  Verse 4 tells us that when they couldn’t get through, they went up to the roof, cut a hole in the ceiling and lowered him down to see Jesus.

Mark 2:5 says, “And Jesus, seeing their faith, said to the paralyzed man, ‘Son, your sins are forgiven.’”

I don’t know how this feels to you, but this whole story screams of courage.  More importantly it took faith, a tremendous amount of faith.  They had an air of expectancy when they walked up to that house.  They didn’t come hoping Jesus would heal their friend.  They EXPECTED that Jesus would heal their friend.  They believed that Jesus being who He is would heal the man.  And in that day, not only did Jesus forgive the man of his sins and heal him spiritually, He told him to pick up his pallet and go home (vs. 11) and healed him physically.

Do we have that same expectancy when we come to Jesus with our petitions?  I know there are times when I wish His answers were as clear as the answer given to the paralyzed man.  But I also recognize that I need to come to Him with an expectation that He WILL answer my petition…in the way that most brings Him the glory. 

I think that coming to him with the expectation that there will be an answer allows me to be content with whatever the answer is.  Think about those 4 friends and Jesus’s immediate answer to the paralyzed man.  The initial answer wasn’t that he could walk.  He DID, however, give him an answer that still healed.

I pray, Iron Porch, that as we come to the throne of God with our petitions, seeking Christ, that we have that same air of expectancy of an answer.  Because the answer He gives will be the right answer for you.

~Erin

What is the Goal?

Have you ever thought about how easy it is to live in this world?  I’m talking from a Biblical viewpoint.  Because Satan’s domain is the earth and we have free will, our human nature automatically wants to jump to the easy things, the selfish things, the busy things, and the “fun” things.  Satan and his demons make the world look so enticing.  They also make things other than God seem like a priority.

I’ve thought about this a lot lately, especially in light of the message Pastor Trey preached on Sunday.  He was reading from 2 Peter 1:3-8, and he touched on the fact that godliness is our goal.  He certainly wasn’t saying we are in some way little gods.  But, per scripture, we are meant to live a godly life always pursuing righteousness.  By consistently pursuing righteousness, we gain greater Christian/Biblical perspective that enhance our relationship with Him and keep us from being ineffective in our work for the Lord.

He tells us in Romans 12:2 not to be conformed to the world.  We instead are to be transformed by the renewal of our mind (on Christ) so that we can know what the will of God is.  When we live IN the world, we lose sight of what our goals are in Christ.  We forget that faith is key.  Goodness is key.  Perseverance is key.  Self-control is key.  The list goes in. 

And lest I fool myself into thinking this doesn’t apply to me because I read my bible every day and write a blog, I remind myself of the times I was too busy to honor Him in reading the Word.  I remind myself of the times I could’ve volunteered at the local food pantry and instead chose to sleep in on Saturday morning.  I remind myself of the times I read the Bible and then got on the phone with a friend and said mean things about a co-worker.

It applies to all of us.  Our focus should always be on God.  With that comes remembering that we are not to be in the world.  When we remember that our pursuit should be on godliness, we can drown out our own sinful will and pursue one goal…our Heavenly Father.

~Erin