Monday, I felt like a failure. Tuesday, pretty much the same. And today? Let’s not even get into today. Anyone else raising children? My girls are six years apart; my oldest is grown, out of the house, married and has my grandbaby while my youngest is a sophomore in high school. I think I’d forgotten in the last few years what it was like to have a teenager in the house that thinks you’re a dumb lady who gives too many rules and asks too many questions.
Every day lately, it seems, I’ve let the enemy sneak in and ransack my thoughts. “Your daughter thinks you’re stupid, and she’s right. You DO ask too many questions. Why can’t she sleep in and skip church EVERY SUNDAY OF HER TEENAGE LIFE…what’s the big deal? It’s what everyone’s doing these days—leave her alone. What’s your problem, Overbearing Crappy Mother?” And because I fall prey to human nature, I listen to those words in my head and fear that I’m screwing up my daughter.
This verse pops into my head on occasion. This week, however, I’ve found that by drowning myself in it, the verse helps remind me I’m not doing this ‘raising kids’ thing alone.
Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it. –Proverbs 22:6
When I say I drown myself in it, I’m serious too! I’ve been writing and rewriting it. I’ve been reading and rereading. I say it out loud. I pray it. I made it a graphic to put on my phone. I don’t want to forget that what I’m doing is trying to raise a child with the help of my loving Father (and when I say help, I really mean that I know God’s doing the heavy lifting). I’m trying to instill in her a deep and meaningful love for Jesus that can’t be satisfied by the outside world.
She may feel as if I’m the adversary, but I have confidence in Jesus that I’m doing just as He instructs. I can know that this is a short season in the grand scheme of things. God sees the bigger picture, and I’m grateful that He’s in control.
Anyone out there had the same struggle with teenagers or children, in general?! I’m very suspicious that I’m not alone in the “my mother is a persona non grata” feeling! Share in the comments below.