Panic comes to me in many different forms. Not enough sleep before a big presentation-panic. Forgot to check my son’s homework-panic. Didn’t stop to buy milk on the way home-panic. Best friend announces she’s chosen a word of the year-pure panic. She made the declaration with excitement and confidence. As with all adventures with this girl, I could not be more supportive of her having a word to focus on and move towards.
Despite my support of Erin having a word for 2018, my own panic was there. Bubbling on the surface. I saw people picking a word of the year on social media and my best friend just picked a word. Do I need a word? How do I pick a word? What do I do with that word? Am I letting Erin down by not having a word…or worse, not doing what I’m supposed to with a word?
In the midst of this panic, I simply asked God, ‘”am I supposed to have a word?” I didn’t ask if this was a seasonal gift for Erin, what my word was, what was the purpose of one word or even why one would need a word. I simply asked, “am I supposed to have a word?”
God has been radio silent on an answer.
In light of not receiving any big epiphany on having a word to represent me for 2018, I just keep going about my daily life. I continue to pray, to do laundry, text my mama, hug my son, and focus on all the words of my life without narrowing it to one.
While I wait, I realized that I have a ton of other things to focus on for 2018. This year I’m retiring from the Air Force after 24 years and I’m going to have to get a civilian job. Talk about a scary transition! This year also will celebrate the completion of my Doctorate Thesis. I joked with my husband that he’d have to call me “Dr. Emily” to which he said, “no.” Another change, another transition. Finally, Erin and I are sincerely focused on writing. This is a change….a commitment…a transition.
God is never truly radio silent.
Aimless thoughts and answered prayers go hand in hand. God gives us answers in the Bible, through others’ voices, and through quiet time with Him. He offers promises that soothe our panic. Since I was 8 years old, whenever I feel panic in any capacity, I automatically go to Isaiah 41:10 “Do not be afraid, for I am your God.” It’s the verse that has gotten me through all kinds of life transitions. It’s the one filled with hope. The verse that assures me that I will get through all my transitions this year.
…all my transitions this year.
Maybe “transition” should be my 2018 word.